Voice

Oct 14

As the president of the school, I’ve inherited the KNIGHTS cheer at St. Francis de Sales School. This is a cheer we use at the end of every pep rally, when we score touchdowns, and periodically throughout the year. It involves me yelling out, “Give me a K! Give me an N!” …and so on.

After leading this cheer a few times in one week, I noticed a raspiness in my voice during Mass the following Sunday. The cheer had taken its toll! After Mass, parishioners didn’t talk about the message of my homily. Instead, they commented on my voice. A change in voice is impossible to overlook.

Psalm 139 describes a God who knows our innermost being. Nothing is hidden. I love this psalm and often pray it during group reflections. I have marveled at the intimacy of a God who knows me so completely. Yet my experience with my raspy voice makes me wonder if this revealing of our innermost being is as exceptional as I sometimes imagine. My parishioners knew something about my week simply by hearing my voice.

I don’t find this insight as comforting as I do annoying. I want to curate my being, control what others perceive, and have my words be more meaningful than my voice. But the truth slips out and shows up. My heart reveals itself even when I want to cloak it. There is something about my inner self that is so obvious to others.

What happens when I realize I am so easily read?

What a relief! Sometimes what others see is positive, and sometimes it is not. Most of the time, it’s messy. I can even call it raspy.

And this is the freedom that Psalm 139 offers. This week, I’m focusing on what it means to accept that my raspiness is obvious, not only to God but also to the people around me.

May God be Praised